My girls have gone to Indiana for the next 6 weeks. I'm so excited for them to experience my hometown, but I miss chasing my little boogers around. The absence of noise is eerie. My house is empty. Sure, I still have Alice and Daisy to keep me occupied, but they sleep most of the day.
Today is the day that we observe Memorial Day. This is a very sensitive topic for me. I feel that most Americans take the sacrifices of others for granted. Pigs, most of them, in the way that they only see this day as "another day off" as opposed to what it is meant to be, a day of reflection. Selfish pigs. I know the heartache of a service member being sent away from home. Scott's gone right now, stateside, but gone nonetheless. I must say that I am extremely fortunate that his absences have been 6 months or less, stateside, and he has always come home to me safe and sound.
On Veteran's Day and Memorial Day, I tend to watch the History Channel. They run marathons of documentaries. In my small way, watching those programs helps me reflect, learn more, and appreciate the sacrifices of our Armed Services personnel.
Today is different. I'm feeling sorry for myself because I am sick. Ugh. I miss my kids. I miss my husband. I feel like a bag of ass, and I am out of allergy medicine. I've eaten half a jar of pepperoncinis in the hopes of clearing my head. So far, it's just given me nausea. Can't send the dogs to the store. This is sucky. Yeah, poor me, right? This Memorial Day, I'm laying in bed. Watching Season 2 of Dexter on Netflix. It's a far cry from the History Channel or a Memorial Day documentary, but I am giving myself a pass. Especially with my husband gone, I pay tribute and I remember...every single day.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Less is More
I've come to the conclusion that I need to simplify. Trying to keep up with everything is just too difficult, especially with Scott gone. What is it "they" say? Do one thing and do it well. I can probably add a few more things to my plate, but my priorities need to be straight before I start my next semester.
Simplifying means organizing this house. I had to let some things go in order to take care of more important things during my semester. It was a constant battle to get more than 4-5 hours of sleep at night. Now that the semester is over, I need to kick it into gear. Those who know me well know that I am a fan of the big black trash bag. Unlike the rest of my family, I am not a fan of clutter. I am very selective about what I keep. It serves me well since we move every few years. Today feels like a big black trash bag day.
Another aspect of my life that needs to take more precedence is my health and fitness. I stepped on the scale for the first time in over a year. Now there's a number to accompany the my discomfort with my appearance. I realize that I will never again have my "before the twins" body, but I have put too much in front of my SELF these last few years.
It's my time, and now there is really no excuse. I'm working better hours. The kids are going to Indiana to visit my parents for the summer. Scott is gone. It's just me and the dogs (who love to run). I am no longer the "back burner" wife. It's now a matter of motivation and I think stepping on the scale today tipped my motivation into the right direction.
I can do anything that I put my mind to. I got a 3.8 last semester under excruciating circumstances--carrying 15 hours, working every day at 3am, kids, husband, animals, oh yeah, and MOVING 2500 MILES, making our new house into our new home. After the disappointment of missing my first 4.0 by getting a "B" in one class, I was determined to kick ass this semester. I did it. For the first time in my life I got a 4.0. I guess it's a matter of wanting it bad enough.
I am at the edge of something great. I just need to take those initial steps.
Simplifying means organizing this house. I had to let some things go in order to take care of more important things during my semester. It was a constant battle to get more than 4-5 hours of sleep at night. Now that the semester is over, I need to kick it into gear. Those who know me well know that I am a fan of the big black trash bag. Unlike the rest of my family, I am not a fan of clutter. I am very selective about what I keep. It serves me well since we move every few years. Today feels like a big black trash bag day.
Another aspect of my life that needs to take more precedence is my health and fitness. I stepped on the scale for the first time in over a year. Now there's a number to accompany the my discomfort with my appearance. I realize that I will never again have my "before the twins" body, but I have put too much in front of my SELF these last few years.
It's my time, and now there is really no excuse. I'm working better hours. The kids are going to Indiana to visit my parents for the summer. Scott is gone. It's just me and the dogs (who love to run). I am no longer the "back burner" wife. It's now a matter of motivation and I think stepping on the scale today tipped my motivation into the right direction.
I can do anything that I put my mind to. I got a 3.8 last semester under excruciating circumstances--carrying 15 hours, working every day at 3am, kids, husband, animals, oh yeah, and MOVING 2500 MILES, making our new house into our new home. After the disappointment of missing my first 4.0 by getting a "B" in one class, I was determined to kick ass this semester. I did it. For the first time in my life I got a 4.0. I guess it's a matter of wanting it bad enough.
I am at the edge of something great. I just need to take those initial steps.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
A Therapeutic Regurg
A foreword to anyone that stumbles upon my ramblings, please take them as such. I'm writing this for many reasons (to keep my sanity, to rehash my day, to look back and see if I've really learned anything). This is not a blog for the scholarly; my spelling and grammar will not be corrected. I'm doing this because I'm now 33 years-old. I've come a long way and learned so much in the past decade.
I used to blog quite often. I'd usually write about the kids, the husby, military life...and the blogs tended to be humorous. My life stays along those lines, for the most part. Sure, I have my bad days like any other person, but the good most certainly outweighs the bad. To me, it has a lot to do with perspective. The glass is half-full. I look for the positive in people and situations. That is one trait, I'm proud to say, I've maintained throughout the years.
I'm a far cry from that girl who grew up in Indiana. I've been away and lived so much more. I think back to my early 20's, back before I left for the Air Force, and I smile. Not to sound overly cliche, but I suppose my ignorance was bliss. I was young and dumb. So sheltered. So naive. Monterey, Honolulu and Seattle certainly brought their own brands of culture shock.
Back to present-day and purpose. I plan to use this forum to dump my day. Because I work in the ER, I see a lot of disturbing things in the course of a day. I used to see really awful things when I worked at Parkview, but I'm a different person now. I'm happily married, I have kids, I would even venture to say that I probably care more about other people now than I did when I was younger. I'm affected more by patients now than 10 years ago. I don't think that writing will erase the things that I see, but maybe it will help me to evaluate how I feel about the things that I experience, and in doing so, I will be able to maintain the positive outlook on life that I so treasure.
I'm hitting a brick wall. Maybe it's because my head is in a million different places, or perhaps it's because I should be in bed. I'm betting the snoring Weimaraner under my desk isn't doing my imagination any favors. My brain needs a break. I think I'll pour a glass of cab and watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Doesn't that sounds dreamy?
I used to blog quite often. I'd usually write about the kids, the husby, military life...and the blogs tended to be humorous. My life stays along those lines, for the most part. Sure, I have my bad days like any other person, but the good most certainly outweighs the bad. To me, it has a lot to do with perspective. The glass is half-full. I look for the positive in people and situations. That is one trait, I'm proud to say, I've maintained throughout the years.
I'm a far cry from that girl who grew up in Indiana. I've been away and lived so much more. I think back to my early 20's, back before I left for the Air Force, and I smile. Not to sound overly cliche, but I suppose my ignorance was bliss. I was young and dumb. So sheltered. So naive. Monterey, Honolulu and Seattle certainly brought their own brands of culture shock.
Back to present-day and purpose. I plan to use this forum to dump my day. Because I work in the ER, I see a lot of disturbing things in the course of a day. I used to see really awful things when I worked at Parkview, but I'm a different person now. I'm happily married, I have kids, I would even venture to say that I probably care more about other people now than I did when I was younger. I'm affected more by patients now than 10 years ago. I don't think that writing will erase the things that I see, but maybe it will help me to evaluate how I feel about the things that I experience, and in doing so, I will be able to maintain the positive outlook on life that I so treasure.
I'm hitting a brick wall. Maybe it's because my head is in a million different places, or perhaps it's because I should be in bed. I'm betting the snoring Weimaraner under my desk isn't doing my imagination any favors. My brain needs a break. I think I'll pour a glass of cab and watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Doesn't that sounds dreamy?
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